finding out

Thank you for all your well wishes. Sharing the news of this pregnancy with our friends and family has been a hilarious experience. I think most everyone {including us} is a little surprised, quite a few people respond by laughing, like, oh-boy-you're-in-for-it-kinda-laughing, and some people assume that we must be devastated about having babies 13 months apart {we're not}. Looking back, our own reactions to the news were pretty stinkin' priceless.

.......

I'm not sure what made me load the girls in the car and run to Walgreens for a pack of pregnancy tests. But, I did, and as we drove home I remember saying out loud, there's no way! I took both tests and both came back positive.But, before I jumped to any conclusions I made a very shrill call to my midwife.

Hey, Sally. I'm good. Heeeey, I was just wondering if, perhaps, there were any hormones in my system left over from Adalaide that would make me have a positive pregnancy test?

She laughed, kindly told me no, and congratulated me. Somehow, I was sane enough to ask her if the baby or I would be at any greater risk because of the closeness between births. She assured me that there was no greater risk {thank God} but told me to anticipate this pregnancy being much more difficult than the last. Boy, was she right...but that's another post.

I ended the call with my midwife, and ran to the computer to plug in the dates and determine my due date. After figuring out that Adalaide would be 13 months old {!} i got a little hysterical and called my husband.

I'm pregnant!

what do you mean?

I . AM . PREGNANT. !!!

{laughing} are you serious?

yes, i am serious!!!! {and then i heard a familiar sound} are you hammering? ARE YOU HAMMERING?!

{more laughing} honey, what's the big deal? We knew we were going to have more kids?

THEBIGDEAL?!! They're going to be 13 months apart!!!

I can't remember how the rest of the conversation went, but I do know that i said something along the lines of , how could you do this me! before hanging up on him.

{since that day, we have laughed a thousand times about that line}

Since i got the most nonchalant reaction from Brian, I called one of my best friends. She laughed too, but at least she validated that this was something worth getting crazy anxious about. She said all the right things, and in the end I felt MUCH better. 

I sat in my bed for a few minutes in utter disbelief. 

how can this be?

i still look 5 months pregnant from the last go round...

my belly line hasn't even faded all the way.

we just got our bill in the mail for adalaide's delivery, like last week!

my baby doesn't even sit, or eat solids, or have teeth. how can there be ANOTHER baby? 

And then I started to get really sad thinking about how it would effect Adalaide. Would we have to rush her out of being "the baby" in the family? I went into her room and woke her up {unspeakable!}. I held her, cried, and promised her that she would still be my baby, and that she would be smothered in her parent's love no matter what.

she looked up at me, and busted up laughing. as if my crying was the most hysterical thing she'd ever seen. if she were able to speak, i really think she would have said, "you're being silly, mommy. i know this already".

nothing like being called out by a 5 month old.

in that moment i felt God whisper, "your children are such a blessing to you. they are your joys, and this one will be too. you will have more than enough love for all your children. adalaide will never be without. i'm not taking anything away from your family, i'm adding to it. you will have two babies now".

I can't tell you how much peace that perspective gave me. Two babies. Enough love for everyone. No one going without. I suddenly felt much better, dare I say even excited.

Since that day, since that conversation with God, I've gotten really excited about our newest addition. I know life is going to be C-R-A-Z-Y, but i think it will be a good crazy. There's such a thing, right? I hope so..